Stories from United States- Our attempt at the rhythm method of birth control had failed, and I knew it instantly.
- I had to go to the juvenile courthouse to get a waiver that would allow me to get the abortion without my parents' consent.
- When they told me I was twelve weeks and two days, I felt cold. I did not even have a clue I was that far.
- My mom had no idea what to do, all I wanted was a morphine drip to stop the pain.
- I'm so ashamed and I can't help but feel like I've done one of the worst things in the world and I'm going to get punished for it.
- He looked at me and started crying as well and held me. "I'm so sorry, honey," he told me.
- The doctor gives me something to calm my nerves but it doesn’t help the screaming inside my head.
- At the age of 35 I had grown up a lot and had been dating a wonderful man for about three months while working towards my PhD. The very first time we had sex it happened.
- I had never felt so young and so old at the same time.
- I returned to Jamaica and discovered that abortions were illegal without the consent of a husband and a doctor who could prove that birth control had failed.
- This thing inside me was more like a monster then a blessing.
- As I got to the clinic and stepped out of the car, a protester shouted, "Jesus will never forgive you," and that hurt because, yes, it's terrible, and no, I don't believe I'll never be forgiven...
- He kept me shut in his room when people were over because I was a whore and he didn't want me around his friends.
- I’m not religious, but I am very spiritual. I believe in a goddess and I hope she will forgive me.
- I'm a sophomore in college, an artist, a lover, a movie watcher and book lover.
- I chatted with the doctor and surgical assistant the entire time, and didn't think about what was happening.
- It was easy to get caught up in my anger at him. It was easier than thinking about the abortion and how painful that experience was.
- We were to meet a driver at the New Yorker Hotel. The mystery man arrived and put us in a car.
- I'm 19 years old, and had my second abortion about a week ago.
- It was very clear to me that I wanted to do this on my own. I didn't want anyone to influence my decision or be involved.
- Throughout the course of my life, I've had four abortions.
- The procedure itself was the best I could hope for.
- I am not embarrassed by it, I just cannot stand being judged when I tell others about it.
- I was so grateful that RU486 was legal because the abortion itself, while emotional, was dignified and safe.
- I'm a single mom now. My kids are two and a half and three and a half.
- As ashamed as I am to say it, I have had three abortions and am contemplating one at this very moment.
- Then, when pregnant with the babies I wanted, they were now BABIES!!!!
- I wish I had "a story" but sadly I have three.
- I believe I made the right choice. I remember my situation. I remember my choice. I give thanks to God that I had a choice!
- The weeks leading up the abortion were a rollercoaster. I had the abortion a month after I found that I was pregnant.
- I felt guilty for a few years about making this decision, but now I am okay with it. I was not in an emotional or financial situation to parent that child...
- He took me back to my dorm where I napped on his shoulder for an hour before he drove me to my final, which I aced.
- It was the one time in my life that he'd ever let me down so badly.
- I was raised Catholic and had always been pro-life, but as soon as I found myself in that position, everything changed.
- We had our problems, as everyone does, but we were your typical high school couple...
- the rejection was so sad for me and I based my decision on that. I was also so far away from home and I had no network of caring people.
- The cramps were unbearable, and I had promised myself that I would never go through this again.
- I am twenty one years old, and I chose to take the abortion pill in January 2011.
- ...after I turned 40, I quit using birth control because I was so sure I couldn't get pregnant. It worked for three years, and then I got pregnant.
- In the swamp-cooler damp
- One of the main reasons for my decision, well, our decision, was the simple fact that "my baby's daddy" didn't want the child, me, or just anything to do with us in general.
- Five months later, I see that I made my decision too quickly. I see now that I was only thinking of the father.
- i was very grateful for the choice to terminate... it was 1971...
- I'm somewhere between the unreal and real.
- He already has a child with a girl from back home...How could he want that child and not mine?
- After it was all over, I came out with a renewed sense of power, which I still have to this day.
- I had to get the courage deep down inside to even make a choice.
- They couldn't fit an appointment in beforehand, so I had to go to Europe almost three months pregnant without telling a soul.
- ...the medical process was painful... the first night from 10pm to 6am I was in the bathroom every five minutes...
- I'm more depressed now and I have such a deep secret in me, it's hard to live with.
- Seemed an easy decision at the time.
- Not until afterwards did I become angry that he did not express a clear opinion...
- I am proud of my decision and I know I did the right thing.
- I can't have another abortion! But I'm not ready for a baby. He's not ready for a baby. I can't have another abortion!
- I feared I would experience deep regret for my abortions once I had my son.
- It was 1973 and abortion was a new thing where I lived.
- I am a mother to three young daughters...I could see no way for our family to survive another child with my husband feeling as strongly as he did.
- It's not something I'm embarrassed about. I just wish it were something that people could talk about more freely.
- I was told by a doctor that it was very unlikely that I could get pregnant without fertility treatments.
- We both pretended everything was perfectly fine. Then I started feeling very depressed and alone.
- I had to go back to the clinic, but I went to a different town because I felt embarrassed that it happened again...
- I felt like my choices and the affair had been terribly exposed.
- I didn't ignore morning sickness, because I didn't have any. I didn't ignore missed periods because I didn't miss them. But I got pregnant. Very pregnant.
- My only reason for getting the abortion really boils down to the fact that I did not want to be inconvenienced at that time in my life or interrupt the lifestyle I was leading. That is very hard for me to admit. \n
- He told me I would be responsible for screwing up his life and that he would kill himself if I had the baby.
- I was in hysterics-- what the hell was I going to do? A baby can't raise a BABY!
- That's my story: My Abortion, My Life; no opinions needed.
- I was 20 weeks and two days pregnant the day of my abortion.
- Going to Planned Parenthood I felt scared, nervous, and very unsure.
- I had used drugs after we conceived, in the very critical first stages of the first trimester. And when [the doctor] looked at the screen, he said, "Oh, there's not one, but two."
- I could afford to pay for the procedure, and as for the deadbeat father who said he would pay, he did not and didn't take me to the clinic either. I no longer cared, as I had nothing else to do with him.
- It has been the hardest and saddest time of my life.
- I called my boyfriend and I was hysterical. "You have to come home RIGHT NOW!," I screamed, "I can't do this all by myself, I need you!" But he didn't come.
- Well, the simple truth is that I wasn’t ready to choose motherhood.
- I had two little kids and was having a love affair, which was my escape from a tormented marriage.
- It was a huge thing for me to realize that grief doesn't equal regret.
- We named him, oddly enough. Dante. Its a good name. He's a picture and a memory.
- I had my first abortion when I was 14
- I feel relief. I feel pride in myself for making this decision and sticking to it, knowing it was the right one.
- I was 23 years old. I could barely afford to feed myself.
- I don't regret it, but I regret telling him never to speak about it.
- You'd be happy to know that I'm going to therapy, and it was my therapist's idea to name you and write this letter to you.
- My mom came up with a plan that she would send me the money for an abortion.
- I didn't want him to be the father. I didn't want to deal with him for the rest of my life.
- I have absolutely no regrets and do not feel bad about it on any level.
- I am about to have my third abortion.
- What I'm feeling right now could be best described as "alchemical." I now have a secret that has forever transformed me.
- I have lived hurting and hating him for making me lock it up inside. I needed to talk about it, and he wouldn't have any of it.
- I can only ask for forgiveness, ask God for strength and wisdom.
- Afterwards I felt relieved to not be pregnant, not have to face my parents, and to have the opportunity to continue my childhood into adulthood without the regret of burdening my grandmother with another mouth to feed.
- Even though I was emotional, I never cried because I had an abortion...It wasn't until now, 6 years later, that I have begun to think about it...
- Being a single mom of twins is all I can handle. I know my limits, and now I know how strong I can be.
- After my third child, I told my husband I really wanted one more.
- I am still pro-choice but believe I made a decision based more on pressure and anger than anything else.
- Pregnant. My heart sunk so far into my stomach, I thought I was going to be sick.
- I do not feel ashamed. I don't feel like a bad person and I don't feel like a whore.
- I thought some type of maternal instinct should have kicked in and made me go through with this pregnancy. But I didn't feel that for the baby... I only felt it in principle.
- We were sitting around watching soap operas and the movie “Pretty Woman.”
- A day later, I took the four pills at home. My boyfriend spent the entire night by my side.
- I have two kids already and was going through a horrible divorce.
- My son, my boyfriend, and I shared one room. We struggled.
- As many times as I've gone through this... it never gets any easier.
- I sit at home and constantly cry. I can't talk to the closest person to me.
- This was in 1962... The doctor said he would do it, that he wanted the money, and that I had to come back alone.
- The decision was mine to make alone; the pain, the emptiness and the sadness are mine alone.
- After the abortion, I felt guilt, grief, and regret. I come from a strong Christian background, which made me feel worse.
- When I became pregant again, I was so crazy... I just said, I will have an abortion.
- An abortion had always been out of the question for me.
- My emotional reactions didn't match his actions at all.
- About two weeks after getting the restraining order against him, my roommate looked at me and said, "You look pregnant."
- I do not remember a time when I wasn't pro-life.
- I'm not having this done because I hate life or I hate my child, and I get so tired of people judging the women that have to make this decision.
- I called my mom and told her that I would get the abortion if she would let me come home.
- I have not regretted my experience. I am in fact proud that I made a good choice for myself and my family.
- I don't blame her, and never did, for this atmosphere of shame and degradation that surrounded the procedure.
- A week later, I was sitting in Planned Parenthood with my Catholic, pro-life best friend and ex-boyfriend.
- There was no room for me to say, "Hey I'm really going through a tough time because of this."
- I was 8.5 weeks. I had a surgical yesterday.
- My parents didn’t have time to raise a baby, but there was no way I was getting an abortion. But, as the days passed we decided that it would be best.
- I have to separate the heartbreak from the loss of my relationship from the loss of the possible life we created.
- While experiencing an unwanted pregnancy has caused to me to relate to the issue differently, it has not challenged my core view, voiced by Margaret Sanger, that every child should be a wanted child.
- It took him 20 minutes to come get me. He was stoned.
- I got an abortion because in a weird way I wanted a better life for my child and my husband.
- But I know now that I should've listened to what I wanted and not what others were telling me.
- My mom immediately made an appointment for an abortion.
- Both abortion and adoption appealed to me.
- It seemed that abortion was something that one did as alone as possible...
- I was never sure. My fiance and I went back and forth for weeks...
- Logic has beat out emotion this entire journey up until this point, and despite that, I'm having trouble keeping it that way.
- The night before I read him a letter I wrote to the baby. I still have the letter. I torture myself and read it often.
- When I walked to the bathroom, my toe tore a hole in the front of one [paper] slipper. That embarrassed me a little.
- My ex boyfriend told me the truth when I told him I was pregnant. He told me he does not love me any more and can't be there for me.
- I've had two abortions. I never expected to have one, but then two...
- I kept rubbing my stomach, but of course the baby couldn't feel it. The second day was a blur.
- I got pregnant at 15...
- It was short, uncomfortable, made me cramp up instantly. But it was over before I realized it.
- Sometimes I feel like I made the right decision for my future, other times I feel guilty...
- I had to pass it off as a miscarriage because of my fiance’s reaction...
- Good thing they had a payment plan because my insurance company wouldn't cover it unless I had a rape kit done and pressed charges or attempted to press charges against my accuser.
- It has helped me more than anyone knows to read these stories and know I am not alone in how I feel.
- And so here I am, suspended in time, caught in the middle of a war between remembering and forgetting.
- When this beautiful butterfly landed on me, I knew I was already pregnant. I had found out the 5th of September at 5am.
- I have chosen my life, and maybe that is selfish... but maybe it is one of the most powerful gifts to myself as well.
- Within two months of the start of the rapes, I was pregnant.
- The nurse recognized my last name, and, against the clinic rules, called my dad. He came and picked me up from school, drove me to my mom's office, and made me tell her right there.
- And they don't realize the pain and emotions the women go through.
- We took a big step and chose our love over our parents' beliefs.
- Just recently we decided that our family was complete and had begun to contemplate what we would do with the frozen embryos.
- Finally, about three weeks later, the day of my termination came.
- There's no way our baby could be supported like a child should. A 15 year old mother and a 16 year old father... What kind of life would that be?
- I'm not as irresponsible as you think.
- It all happened at probably the worst time I could have imagined, weeks before I was to leave for college. I had proven myself to be a level-headed, intelligent, and responsible young woman...
- I want a baby, just not now.
- After all, if these brave women could go through this when it was so much harder, what really do I have to worry about in the long run?
- Today I took the first abortion pill. Tomorrow, at 3:00, I will have taken the last four pills to end my pregnancy.
- I haven't told anyone in person, but I am not ashamed. I am just scared of the people who want me to be ashamed.
- It been hard seeing my friends get pregnant and to know what brought fear and sadness to me, brings joy to them.
- My baby's father hated me. My mother couldn't look me in the face.
- I was still working on grad school applications and he was still doing his undergrad work, and we were pregnant.
- Everything looked normal until I went in for my 12 week ultrasound.
- I alternated between wanting to keep the baby and feeling so horribly sick that I didn't want it.
- I felt much safer thinking about having it done here and also knowing the name of the doctor and having had the opportunity to talk to him and ask questions.
- He is very against abortion and that is the reason we’re not together anymore.
- The second set of pills were even worse. I felt like death and stayed in bed for days.
- I don't know how to drive... I'm not in college yet. I only have a part time job.
- I put my trust into a place that advertised safe and dignified abortion services. I was treated like cattle, I was humiliated, and my privacy during this immensely difficult time was gone.
- Under the spell of our magical love making one last big idea germinated in my diluted mind. I wanted to have his baby.
- I'm having my second abortion this week. I thought I was going to keep it.
- The poor nurse didn’t know what to do. She asked if I knew I had options, if this was unplanned, and I told her I didn’t believe in abortion.
- I'm confused because I don't know why I didn't stop him. I don't know who to blame.
- I was so stressed that I started bleeding.
- By then I was 20 weeks-- time was running out.
- They ain't kidding when they talk of young girls being naive, because I was that girl.
- I was 14 when I found out I was pregnant
- I had just gotten out of high school. I didn't have a job. I didn't have a car. I had basically nothing but myself.
- I handled the abortion myself.
- I have one beautiful daughter, have had three miscarriages, and three previous abortions.
- I am with a new guy who knows nothing of this. I don’t think I could ever tell him, or anyone else for that matter.
- The father of the baby was my amazing boyfriend and, like all high school sweethearts, we planned to spend our lives together. I knew, however, what my heart and mind were telling me.
- I only spent 63 days with you.
- I had blood taken, had a vaginal ultrasound, and finally went to see a counselor who explained everything I needed to know about taking the pills.
- Then once that was done they let my mom come in the room which was NOT who I wanted. I wanted my boyfriend to just hold me. \n
- Eight months later, I suddenly had this resurgence of emotion.
- In the country where I was living, abortion was illegal and punishable by 10 years in prison.
- He was late picking me up at the clinic after the procedure (3.5 hours to be exact) and it was pouring rain. I cried.
- It happened while I was in South Africa at an artist residency in Cape Town.
- I previously believed that people who accidentally got pregnant were careless and irresponsible.
- I saw the Bojangles cup sitting there and wondered how many times a day she filled it up and what she was drinking. It took only a minute or two, and then back out to the rows of chairs.
- He showed so much love and commitment to me, but the minute I got pregnant, I felt he no longer respected me.
- We were using condoms and I was on birth control, so it was like a complete anomaly.
- I keep telling myself that tomorrow is a new day. I just feel sickness and relief all at the same time.
- Spirit butterfly looking me square in the eyes
- Yes, the scars are still there. The pain, regret and guilt haven't gone away completely.
- I was raised Catholic but wasn't from a really religious family. I wanted forgiveness though.
- At 1:00 I'll take anti-nausea medication. At 1:30 I'll take the pills that open my cervix and cause my uterus to contract.
- I was so grateful that we came to the same conclusion and that I would have his unwavering support during such a terrifying time for us.
- The idea of physically completing a pregnancy was out of the question, and making a child and raising them in a healthy, safe, responsible way was impossible.
- He immediately told me to get an abortion.
- I just had to make a decision. All I knew is that I was indecisive.
- I passed my pregnancy alone in my childhood bedroom--
- No place closer performed abortions at that late a date. Also, it would be about $2500.
- Both of our families were very conservative, Catholic, and we felt that we couldn't tell them.
- I wrote this two weeks after my abortion, on New Years Eve 2006. Now, in May of 2007, my thoughts have changed some.
- I've had two abortions and am contemplating a third.
- I remember the tears rolling down my face into my ears.
- I feel that I have completely marred the person of good character that I worked so hard to be.
- I am 34, I am a full time student, I will have a Doctorate in a few years, but it was so hard, so hard
- How do I tell people I'd do it again? That's the hard part.
- I am pregnant with a married man’s baby and his wife is seven months pregnant. Oh my god.
- I went to court so my mom wouldn't find out.
- My girlfriend now does not know that I did this. I can't tell her...
- The mood in this room was completely different. Girls smiled. The weight of it all was gone. The air was visibly lighter.
- I know that the choice I made was right-- right for me, right for him, and right for the baby. But still, this anger!
- I got pregnant at the tender age of fifteen by a middle aged man that lied to impregnate me.
- When I got home, my parents told me that if I wanted to keep it I would have to move out because they couldn't help me.
- I came back to my dorm room, cried, prayed and basically went on with my life.
- I was pregnant, I was 14, I was embarrassed, disappointed, ashamed and scared. My dad was the most disappointed. I'll never forget the day he called me a murderer.
- It's an understatement to say that I regret my decision.
- I am writing this story about nine months to the day I got pregnant at 22 years old.
- I had been dating him for three months when I became pregnant, while in medical school.
- Since he found out, he has called me "a joke", "a dumbass", and told me, "I don't want a child with you."
- My boyfriend and I talked it over and he left the decision in my hands. He said he would support me either way, which was a great help.
- I already have a four year old son and I knew I loved being a mom.
- We called Planned Parenthood and set up an appointment for a medical abortion.
- About a year or two after the abortion, I went to work as a clinic receptionist where I had the procedure.
- It goes back to when I was married... around 1945... It was not legal. It was a secret.
- His parents ended up threatening to kick him out of their house if we didn't get an abortion. And with that being said, I went against my will and decided to go through with it, for his sake.
- I had the first procedure when I was 19 years old. I already had one child-- my daughter was 8 months old.
- I paid the $300.00 and signed the forms. Those damn yellow forms!!! I waited for my name to be called and have never been more scared in my life.
- I decided to hate the world that didn't support me...
- I want to keep talking about it. It has created a mark I wear with pride, strength and sadness.
- 15 minutes after I took the pill, I started cramping really bad. I locked myself in my room and eventually fell asleep.
- I feel like I SHOULD be thinking or feeling something, and I feel more guilt over my lack of emotion than I do over the abortion itself.
- my rapist's DNA is my body, he is in my body, he has taken my mind and my body...
- The term “rape” was definitely not a word I used often; I don’t think I even knew what it meant at the time.
- The clinician stated that she called the other local walk-in clinic for me and they would not help me either.
- My abortion was actually quite empowering, and I know how that might sound to some people.
- I was 19 years old, and I had been with my bf for a bit less than a year and a half.
- It's been about a week. I'm still bleeding, cramping, and I'm still sad.
- He was like, I am not going to be a father. I am not going to help you. I am not going to give you money.
- I just cried hysterically for what might have been, for what should have been.
- I know that my boyfriend was much more upset by the whole thing.
- I just couldn't throw all of that away, plus it would break my father's heart.
- After the abortion, I sold every piece of clothing I owned. I quit smoking. I quit my job.
- you asked for life
- I would not want a child to suffer because of my mistakes.
- I believe that I had a baby inside me and I chose myself and my current children over that baby.
- I was seven weeks pregnant when I had my abortion. Afterward, I felt relieved.
- I never thought that's the kind of decision I would ever have to make because I'm responsible, I come from a good family.
- So anyway, I cried pleading with my son's father the entire way to the clinic
- I wanted the baby to be named Cody if it was a girl or guy because that was my first love.
- I carried this pain with me for the past 27 years.
- I was almost six weeks along. It was and is the right decision for me.
- I had a suspicion this was going to really hurt.
- I met a soldier who came home on leave from Iraq and fell in love with him.
- I started have panic attacks, believing that somehow everyone I met knew what I had done.
- I'm an athlete, popular, intelligent and really nice to everybody and everything.
- I kept getting fevers and cramps below the bottom of my stomach, which is a red flag for pregnant women because it could mean you could be having a miscarriage.
- I felt alone and scared and had nobody to support me or care about what I wanted...
- Since I was so early, I was able to have the medical (pill) abortion.
- When I was 14 years old, I was raped by three men.
- After my ultrasound, I was pulled in by a counselor who told me I wasn’t 12 weeks pregnant. I was actually 15 weeks and 4 days.
- I am a woman who had three abortions in my 20s. I was a child of the sixties and young woman of the seventies...
- Yes, it sucked. I wish it didn’t have to happen, but it did and I learned about myself during the process.
- So I call the clinic. I'm pissed off, I'm scared, I've cried, I've raged, I've even spent some time just laughing hysterically because this can't be real, this can't be my life right?
- I had to stand in front of a judge with several other girls and tell him why I didn't want to tell my mom about the procedure.
- I woke up at 3 AM this morning, even though I didn't have to get ready until 7. We arrived at the clinic forty-five minutes early for my appointment.
- They put me in a jail cell with a box of Kotex. I used them for a pillow.
- I love pregnancy, I love birth, I love babies, I love being a mama. But I was done.
- I protected myself and my future.
- i always believed that abortion was a sin and that it was murder and anyone who had one was going to hell.
- I was not with the father, I was scared and alone.
- There are always rumors of girls who had money that were able to get doctors to perform them at home.
- We both come from really good families, we are both Christians, we want to be together, we love each other... why could we not have a baby?
- If I kept the baby, it meant leaving him... I loved him, but I knew I already loved this baby. I felt trapped.
- Only at my persistent requests did the sonographer allow me to see my baby in my womb.
- I know that our baby couldn't guarantee anything between him and me.
- I wanted to be a mother so badly, but I was totally unprepared for it.
- I didn’t ever press charges because I just knew it would be a big ordeal, and I didn’t want my parents to find out about it.
- My boyfriend at the time was into smoking pot everyday and drinking; I didn't want my child to have a father like that.
- I felt ashamed and dirty.
- Was I willing to risk my psychological well-being for this second child?
- I still have flashbacks, and every time I think about the experience, I feel a huge lump in my throat and my eyes well up. I was 22 weeks.
- It's only been two days, and I'm sure these feelings will pass, but more than anything, I was surprised at having any emotional reaction at all.
- After 20 humiliating minutes, the judge approved my abortion...
- I’ve found myself FULL of rage.
- I knew I had to get the abortion because I was not sure who was the father.
- As long as he was supportive and friendly, I was willing and wanting to have the baby...
- Would you just say hi?
- Age 32 felt like a good time to have a child, so when I discovered myself pregnant I was excited. He wasn't...
- I didn't want to leave the clinic because they were the only people who knew I had an abortion and weren't afraid to talk about it. I felt safer there.
- I am 17 years old and I have had two abortions.
- The whole thing was very direct, very simple.
- I am SO GLAD I didn't have a baby with my boyfriend at the time (he turned out to be a total loser anyway).
- As a mother, looking back, I think about these things.
- I am writing this because I want people to know that the fathers are also affected by abortion.
- In August I took another test and saw those evil red lines. I was upset that I put myself in this same situation in less than a year.
- I feel empty inside, alone and depressed.
- We drove up to the abortion clinic: a small log cabin in NY state. There was no ultrasound then. It was late December, 1972.
- I am an active member of my church. I try every day to live in the way that God envisions my life.
- The acceptance and the love that came in return of my admission-- that her baby girl had had sex and was pregnant-- was incredible and invaluable.
- i didn't want to do it :(
- I mean, I love babies. I want babies.
- I was on the pill; he was on HRT, and I was supposed to be infertile (thanks a lot, gyno).
- In the end, James left me and I had to find out from myspace that the real reason he had wanted an abortion was so that he could keep dating this other girl.
- Silence and stillness wrap around my days.