As many times as I've gone through this... it never gets any easier.

I'm ashamed of myself for not fighting for my children... that's what a mother does... your daddy was afraid of not being able to provide for you due to our current situation... but I was ready to do whatever it took to provide for you... just like I did with your brother (8) and sister (5)... you my love would've been worth whatever fight or struggle I'd have to endure...

I spent exactly 63 days with you... and in that 63 days I was already in love...

Now it's been exactly three weeks since daddy and I let you go... and it has been the hardest decision I've ever made out of them all...

And no matter what I do the sadness is still there...

No one understands how I feel, not even daddy, they all say things like, "it'll be ok." or "you have to keep on keeping on" "I'm here for you if you need me." but what they fail to realize is that my heart and soul yearns for you...

I'm sorry I didn't fight for you...

I'm sorry we put you in a situation that you never asked to be in...

But what I want you to know is that... I really thought you were going to make it all the way... and it hurts me even more knowing that we both wanted you to... I understand why we felt we couldn't, but that doesn't make the pain go away or lessen any... Mommy loves you and one day I'll see you again...tell your three siblings (a sister and 2 brothers I believe they'd have turned out) I said hello and I think aboutt them all the time.

Love always Your Mommy...

My little fire, my newfound guardian angel

"I never should have let you go..."

Don't loose who you are

In the blur of the stars

Seeing is deceiving

Dreaming is believing

It's ok not to be ok

Sometimes its hard

To follow your heart ❤

Tears don't mean your losing

Everybody's bruising

There's nothing wrong with who you are

• Who You Are *