I'm sad all the time and I feel so alone. I was 21 when I got pregnant. I was 4 weeks when I found out and 5 weeks when I had my abortion. I told my boyfriend right after I found out, soon after he seemed to have distanced himself from me. We never used any kind of protection, only relied on him being able to pull out on time.
I told my mom the day I found I was pregnant as well. We have a very close relationship, but we never talked about stuff like sex, and I was scared of her. She was the person who was there with me for both of my appointments since in Texas a sonogram is mandatory before the procedure.
I've cried every day since I had the abortion. I even cried a lot before I had it. I feel so alone. I can talk to my mom about it, but I put up such a front like everything was okay. I can't let her know that I'm hurting.
My boyfriend still really won't talk to me even though he agreed to the abortion, especially since we talked long before I was even pregnant about our position on the subject. He is/was my bestfriend and he's not even helping me though this.
Sometimes I feel like I made the right decision for my future, other times I feel guilty... What if that was my only opportunity to have a child? There's so many women who can't have children, and I chose to give mine up.
It's hard because I know I'll never be the same person I was before I had the abortion and before I got pregnant. All these emotions will always be with me, though I'd rather forget them.