My fiance and I have been together for two years this June. He just recently got back from Iraq and he is out of the Marines so we've been living it up....
So... I got pregnant. My fiance and I have talked about what we would do if this ever happened, but I really didn't think I would ever have to go through with it. The minute I saw that positive sign on the test, I freaked out and jumped online to find a clinic, made an appointment, and was there for a check up that Saturday. I was confident but once that day came, it was a different story...
My fiance went with me that morning. We waited for about 45 minutes until they called me upstairs. I followed a nurse and a couple other women up the stairs. The nurses handed us a hospital gown and told us what to take off and leave on. After I took all my belongings off, I went into this waiting area with six other women. The room was really cold and very quiet, which made it even harder for me to relax. I grabbed a magazine and kept my head down the entire time I waited. I started to get really nervous... A nurse finally came into the waiting room and handed me pills to take.
30 more minutes passed... They called my name...
I followed a girl into a room and got onto the table and lay down. She put my legs on these two metal things and told me the doctor would be in there in a few minutes. I tried to breathe slowly and relax... The doctor came in and right away told me his name and asked how I was feeling. I told him I was nervous and he told me not to be, and that it would be over before I knew it. Throughout the procedure I didn't say a word. When he finally put the vacuum in me, I started to feel really ashamed. That’s when I realized this was going to be harder to deal with than I thought.
My fiance and I don't talk about it. I want to but I know he doesn't. He just holds me and kisses me when I cry. I'm so ashamed and I can't help but feel like I've done one of the worst things in the world and I'm going to get punished for it. I'm a selfish irresponsible person and it gets worse every day.