My dear uncle had been messing with me while my mom was at work. He taught me the facts of life in a way no 13 year old should ever learn them. I should have told someone but didn't because I think I actually enjoyed the attention although I did not realize that he could make me pregnant.
It was the end of summer and school was about to start. I remember my mom taking me shopping for school clothes, amazed that I could not button or zip my pants up. She asked when I had my last period and really I could not remember. The next thing I knew she said we were going to the Planned Parenthood clinic. The counselors were understanding and nice but said they could not help me since I was already five and a half months pregnant-- too far by their standards.
It was 1973 and abortion was a new thing where I lived. I remember going back and forth in my mind... thinking that I would have it, then slapping myself saying there was no way. My mom told me that I needed to think about my life and there was no way that I was ready to be a mother. She was right, but doing something about it was another thing. She contacted a doctor in Canada and he agreed to do the procedure.
A month would pass before he could see me. It was the longest month of my life. My mom didn't tell me much, just that I would be having labor pains and my problem would be taken care of. I arrived at the clinic on a Monday morning, amazed at the number of women waiting to have the same thing done (so I thought). Many were not as far along as I, so they were able to stay a couple hours to have their procedures and leave.
I was taken to a room and given a gown to put on. I had never been examined before so it was a shock when the doctor parted my legs so he could do what he needed to. I remember feeling so vulnerable but he was there to help, so I tried to relax the best that I could. He told me he would be inserting a needle in my abdomen and although it sounded scary, I was eager to get it over with. It didnt hurt that much until the labor actually began.
I was not prepared for the hours that followed. The pains were bad and my stomach seemed huge and hard. Within about 16 hours, I could feel something heavy in my botttom and I began to freak out. The nurses tried to calm me and put me on a table again with legs apart. I can't tell you the relief I felt when it came out and the pain was over. I knew in my heart that I had just experienced what women go through in childbirth, but there was no way at 13 that I could be a mother.
Looking back, although it was hard, I know it was the best thing for my life. I'm glad that I had the chance to finish school and be a kid. Yes, it makes me sad to think of it but I know beyond a doubt it was the best thing for my life. I have no regrets!