I was 17 years of age when I agreed to go ahead with the abortion. It was 1999... we had been trying for a baby for at least four months and had been to see the doctors for advice. At this stage we both decided not to try anymore... well not for a while anyway. Then when I was meant to have a period, I didn't. I was so scared as my periods are usually regular. I waited a week just in case I was having an off week, and I decided to take a pregnancy test and guess what? It came back positive.
I was a little bit happy but then a little bit upset with my partner, and we felt that it was not the right time for a baby. We were both out of work and we couldn't really afford to have a baby, so we arranged to go to clinic to get advice about having an abortion.
The day came, and I was so scared, I had to phone up early that morning to make sure there was a bed free. As soon as they said yes, we were off to the hospital. I was getting scared as I don't really like hospitals. When it was time for me to go into surgery, I kissed my fella and he said, "things will be OK, I'm right here see you when you wake up." They gave me the injection and after three seconds, I was asleep.
After I came around, I just burst out crying realizing what I had just done. I felt horrible thinking that I had just killed my baby but it was too late to feel sorry now... they had just taken my temperature and then they took me back to the ward where my fella was waiting for me. I was in the hospital all day they wouldn't let me leave till I had been to the loo.
As soon as I sat up to go to the loo, a gush of blood came flying out. I was so scared, I cried, I didn't know what was going on. The nurse said that it's normal to loose some blood. It was like a fountain... the pain was kicking in now. I was given some tablets for the pain, then I was able to go home. When I got home, I was so tired and I went to bed. It felt like I had slept for days. My fella was really nice... he took care of me.
I ain't been the same since really. I do still think back to when I found out I was pregnant and wonder if I would change things. It's been nearly seven years that I had the abortion. I now have two lovely kids, but I still think of the baby that I aborted and I light a candle every year. Luckily, I have friends and family who are here for me. Some girls ain't as lucky.