I was 16 when I fell pregnant. It was the biggest shock of my life. My boyfriend of five years and I were using protection, condoms and the pill. I could not believe I had got pregnant. I remember the time and date of when I found out I was pregnant: 30th of January 2004, 2:30pm. I kept the pregnancy test overnight and willed it to change, for it to be a mistake. Obviously, it didn't.
I told my mum the next day, we sat and talked about all my options. Once I had finished talking to her, I went to see my boyfriend, also 16, and we talked about what life would be like with a baby. Kids having kids? We decided we couldn't do it. So he told his mum and my mum and I told my dad. He obviously wasn't happy. I am his little girl-- he couldn't accept my boyfriend, let alone this!
On the 3rd of February, I went to the abortion clinic in Southern England. I was terrified. But I knew it was the right choice. What sort of life could I give a child at 16? I had no job, neither did my boyfriend, I was starting college in September, I had no money, I had no room (literally) for a baby in my house. We couldn't get a place of our own as we weren't married, I would have to go it alone in the eyes of the state to get help! I just couldn't do it.
At 3:30, I was out under aneasthetic and having the procedure. When I woke up afterwards, I had a little cry for the child I would never know. Because at the end of the day it would have been a child, it would have been mine and I would have loved it every day for the rest of my life. However, I know you cannot raise a child on love alone.
My abortion was hard. The choice to have it is probably the hardest decision I will ever make in my entire life, but I know it was right for me. Many of my friends have had abortions, and we all talk about it if we ever have the odd day that we feel down about it. I always feel a little sad in September, as that is when my child would have been born. But I believe that is just the normal way someone feels after an abortion.
I am happy in my life. I have gone on to college and am now almost complete, after which I will go on to get my law degree and become a solicitor. I am doing everything I have ever wanted and more, things I would not have been able to do if I was struggling to support myself and a child. I am not ashamed of my actions.