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I found out I was pregnant again for the third time. I gave my firstborn up six years ago. Now I have a three year old at home. I had an abortion yesterday. It was the most painful thing ever. I have mixed feelings about my decision. I'm relieved but sad.

I know that my boyfriend and I can't afford a child right-- now we are struggling as is in this economy. I have been sleeping all day... I'm depressed right now. But I know I will get through it. I have an amazing boyfriend. He does everything for me. I think about what this baby would be like. I was six weeks along. I am scattered right now. I just want to move on. I keep telling myself that tomorrow is a new day. I just feel sickness and relief all at the same time. I know we want to have children some day, but not right now.

I think I'm going to start counseling soon. I know from experience, firsthand, that time heals all wounds. I just couldn't give another child up... that killed me inside. I know I'm a strong person, but I feel weak right now.