When I was 23 I was seeing someone. We weren't serious, just something casual before he left for the Middle East for four months for the military. He'd asked at one point if I got pregnant would I get an abortion. Without hesitation, I said yes. I just didn't mention the other things in my head like, depending on the situation. He was two years younger than me and not someone I saw spending the rest of my life with.
Then that fateful month. Birth control + antibiotics = you're gettin' pregnant! Well for me at least that equation held true. I was maybe two or three days late and just figured I was stressed out and didn't think too much of missing my period. On the third night I was at a party and surprised at how much I could drink and how quickly I'd become sober. On the fourth morning the heartburn started. I figured it was the drinking. I had to run to a holiday party (in November)and ate a bunch of bacon and eggs. By the end of the day the heartburn didn't stop so after coffee with a friend I stopped at a Walgreens and picked up a drink, tums and a pregnancy test. Worst shopping trip ever.
Sure enough it was positive. I couldn't tell him for five days. I was scared to say anything to him. I was actually excited to be pregnant. I never told him that part though. I was a little scared of how he'd react.
Once I told him, he immediately began looking for clinics in the area and what my options for abortion were. I never stood up for myself and my baby. But looking back, I didn't want him to be the father. I didn't want to deal with him for the rest of my life.
I wasn't able to get the abortion until I was seven or eight weeks along. Having to be pregnant for that long was horrible. I had to go to the clinic with a girlfriend of mine because he was already in the process of being shipped off. He was no emotional support. When he came back he said he half expected me to still be pregnant.
What was worse was that the pill didn't completely work. I bled for about a month then had to go back in for a D&C (dusting and cleaning if you will). It was a horrible traumatic experience hearing that you had necrotic tissue inside of you.
Afterward, I lost it. I became depressed and drank heavily. I couldn't come to terms with what I had done and what I had gone through. By this point I had turned 24 and was a mess. Lucky for me I would find out less than a year later that I have a mild form of bipolar disorder that makes life a bit harder, but I able to be helped with meds. The relationships I had were very bad for me, and now, at 27, I am doing pretty well. I'm in a loving relationship. I told him early on that I had an abortion because I think it's important to be with someone who is nonjudgmental and who can love me for everything I am.
Ladies, you'll be OK. I promise. It might take a while and some hard work to get there, but you will be OK.