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After my third child, I told my husband I really wanted one more. We argued a lot about it over the last year. He obviously did not want any more children. He felt overwhelmed by what we already have. A week before his scheduled vasectomy, I found out I was pregnant. After a year of fighting about another child, I had adopted his thoughts and agreed to move on from having anymore children. Now, here I was pregnant. My first reaction was complete fear and panic. I knew this would destroy my marriage. I went ahead with the medical abortion and regretted it instantly. I'm now a shell of myself. I can't function normally anymore because every waking minute I regret my decision. I realize now that it's what I really wanted deep down, but I didn't fight for it. I'm left wondering if I will ever feel happiness again.