Browse stories

I made the right choice.

I was 34 when I got pregnant. I was single, college-educated and had birth control pills and condoms in the bathroom. It's just that I didn't use them.

The guy? Wonderful, cute, charming, six years younger than me. A great friend, a new crush, we'd known each other since we were nine and fifteen.

The night? I remember the date, the time, the place, very clearly.

We were celebrating my birthday with family and ended up at a club with friends afterwards. We flirted and danced and drank and flirted and drank. By the end of the night, a friend drove us home and dropped us both off at my place. I don't remember the sex being amazing, but I do remember the sex.

In the morning, we were both hung over. It was awkward. I tried to kiss and caress him... he wasn't into that. I thought this might be the beginning of 'us'. I was wrong.

Two week later, we talked about what happened and our friendship and his girlfriend. We decided it was a one-time thing. He wanted to stay with his girlfriend. I agreed. He's sweet, kind and atentive. But, maybe not boyfriend material.

And I thought that was the end of the story -- until six weeks later.

I still have the pregnancy results from Kaiser in my journal. It reads: "Pregnancy Test... Positive. When the lady on the phone read me the results, I just froze and then asked to be connected to the someone who could talk to me about 'termination.' Wow! The first person I called was Gloria. I told her to sit down. No one had died, but I needed her to sit down."

I must say that I got great love from my sister-friends. I told all of them. I needed them to know, to share my truth, to share my fear and to reach out for similar experiences. Of the six girlfriends I told, four had previously had abortions! What a surprise. I had no idea. I had never heard my girlfriends talk about it. Only when I shared, did they share. I was not alone!

I believe I made the right choice. I remember my situation. I remember my choice. I give thanks to God that I had a choice! Twelve months after the abortion I wrote to all of my elected officials to let them know to keep abortion safe and legal.

And what about him? I told him. He respected my decision. He asked if I needed money. He said he wasn't ready to be a parent. He was scared. He's still cute and charming, but not the man or the circumstances to be the father of my baby.

I made the right choice.