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When I was fifteen, I got into an abusive relationship with an older man. He ended up forcing me to do things I did not want to do. He did not use condoms. Within two months of the start of the rapes, I was pregnant.

I basically had no choice about whether or not I got the abortion. I would have chosen to get one anyway, but he made it clear that abortion was the only choice for me. On the appointed day, he took me to a neighboring state (one without parental notification laws). I had to opt for an only partially anesthetized abortion because I didn't have enough cash for the full deal.

It was frightening, but about halfway through I shut down and was completely numb. I didn't cry about it, didn't feel anything about it, for months and months aftewards, even after I had finally extricated myself from the abusive situation and had come to terms with the rapes. Only now, years later, am I really starting to let myself feel the anger, guilt, and sadness that arose from this ordeal.