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I have been a role model, leader, and academic achiever for as far back as I can remember. I got pregnant at 16, and had an abortion because my family had a fit. All they, and myself, could think about was how I would be looked down on by my church, school, and others. It took me almost two years to halfway get over the abortion. Until then, I thought about it every day and sometimes thought I was crazy.

I got pregnant again at 19, and it was so unneccesary. God had blessed me too much. It was like He just poured his grace and mercy on me after my first abortion, (realizing I was young, ignorant, and it was basically forced on me.) But this second time around, it was all my fault. I know abortion is wrong, and I don't like it. I had just a few years of college left and a baby would have messed it all up. Plus, my community looks down on teen mothers and treats them less than human.

I do regret the abortion. If I could re-do it, I would have just not had sex. However, I know it is over with and done now. I cannot let it get the best of me, that would be defeating the purpose of having it done in the first place. I can only ask for forgiveness, ask God for strength and wisdom. At times I hate myself. It's not easy, but God will see me through.