I'm twenty years old and I had an abortion at 19. I had been going out with my boyfriend for nine months. My period was a week late which was not completely abnormal for me, but my boyfriend joked that maybe I was pregnant. After two weeks with still no period, feeling sick constantly and having tender boobs, I realised I had to take a pregnancy test. Although all the signs suggested I was pregnant, I really just didn't believe I was.
So, when I took that test and read it was positive, my stomach sank. I was so scared and didn't know wat to do. My boyfriend and I talked and talked about it and he made it clear that he wanted me to get an abortion. I really wasn't sure what I wanted but I knew I couldnt talk to my mum and dad because they would make me keep it. My boyfriend told me he would be there for me through it all and I realised that having a baby at this point in my life would just ruin it, as I had just started a degree. I made the appointment with the doctor who referred me to the hospital and I was given an appointment there within a week.
I was certain at this point that I was making the right decision. As it was early on in the pregnancy, I was going to have a medical abortion which I felt more relaxed about. I went to the hospital on a Friday and was told I would have to take some tablets then I went home. Two days later, I went into the hospital early in the morning. Tablets were inserted into my vagina and I was told to rest for half an hour then get up and walk around to try and start the procedure although we were told it may take up to eight hours before anything moved. At first I was in a lot of pain with really bad cramps but this soon calmed down, and after half an hour I got up to walk around, feeling fine. I walked around the bed and all of a sudden I felt a very weird sensation within me. I knew that something had happened and so i went to the toilet and shouted the nurse in. She checked everything, told me to sit on this bed pan for another five minutes just to make sure and then she said it was over.
I couldnt believe how simple it had been, it was a bit unrealistic. I had to stay in the hospital for another half hour just to make sure my bleeding was controlled and then I went home. When I got home, my bleeding got so heavy and it stayed like this for two days... I couldn't even go out the house it was that bad. It calmed down but I continued to bleed for about two weeks solid but then it stopped and I thought things could go back to normal. But I was wrong. Having to keep such a big secret from all my family was so hard, I started to think I had made a mistake in my decision and all I wanted to do was talk to my mum about it, but i couldn't. My boyfriend was great though, and he was always there for me.
However, now we have broke up after a year and a half and I'm still left with this feeling of regret, of wondering if I've made the biggest mistake in my life, but I have no one to talk to at all. I know there is nothing I can do to change what has happened but I can make other people realise that this isn't a decision to be taken lightly, talk to people before you make your decision, think of all options but most importantly make sure YOU make the decision because at the end of the day you have to deal with the consequences.