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My husband and I talked about having a baby for about 6 months. We were excited. I was slightly scared. This economy, our student debts, how were we going to cope? Could we afford to have a child? We decided that if it was meant to be it would happen. When it happened less than two months later, all we could do is look at each other and say, really this IS happening?! We decided in the end that we were not ready. That we couldn't give this baby the life we wanted to give it. We decided to have an abortion. The clinic was busy, and I felt a little like cattle. They gave me a sedative and it was done in 2 maybe 3 minutes. A little cramping and pressure, but no pain. I didn't even bleed much, until 4/5 days later. Now sitting here a week later....we found out 2 friends of ours are having babies in the summer. I'm jealous and slightly angry with myself for getting us into this situation. My first instinct that we were not ready to even try to have a baby was the correct instinct. My husband is very supportive, but in the end I'm the one who had the abortion and is having the major hormonal changes. It is really hard. I want to stop the hurt. I feel like I can't talk to my friends or family about it; that they would be really disappointed or angry. I want to be strong. I don't want to be upset anymore. I don't want to be jealous of happy pregnant ladies and women with infants. I think I regret it a little. I hope that with time I can not feel this way. I have a lot to work through. I hope to feel like myself soon.