While stationed overseas, I did have an abortion. I was in a country where I did not speak the language at all. I was devastated and upset about the situation that led to my decision.
My decision was not an easy one. It happened over a three day period. The person I was involved with taught me a lesson that one should never rush into a relationship and read into the lies. This person who I was involved with wanted me to have the baby. I couldn't due to the fact that he lied about being divorced, when indeed he was still married. This person was full of lies and deceit that I do not regret my decision.
Another thing that led to my decision was the fact that I was still unemployed when I got back to the states. I was still wondering where my next paycheck would come from when I returned. I could not believe that this person chose to sleep with me even though he was married. When I told the person who I was pregnant by that I was pregnant, he tried to control me and keep me away from my friends...I had to be in his room at all times. I continued to refuse to abide by him. I was fed up with the lies and deceit.
I had scheduled an appointment with a counselor after I found out that I was pregnant. I was not sure of what my options were due to the fact that I did not speak the language. The first counseling appointment I missed because the father, who wanted me to keep the child despite the drama, was late getting me there. I got lost in town there, I found the place and was late for my appointment. I had to reschedule. I spoke with another counselor who was supportive after I explained to her what I was going through, she understood and gave me my form to have an abortion.
I could not believe I had to wait three days after receiving my form to have the procedure. I couldn't wait to get this over with. Don't get me wrong-- I want children by a man who is not a liar and has the same views that I do about life. I have no immediate desire to have children until I am spiritually, financially, and mentally ready for them. I want a husband who cares for similar things that I do.
I had a friend who took me to the clinic. She was the only one who I told my story to and no one else. After arriving to have my procedure done, I filled out paperwork and placed into a waiting room where there were women of different races and from different countries. I was shocked at how full the waiting room was. After waiting for over an hour, I was taken to another room and told that I had to take my clothes off and place them into a locker. I then walked to another room where I had to lay down on a table and had an IV into my arm. An ultrasound was taken where they found out that I was six weeks pregnant. I understood that as I was pregnant with twins. My stomach was big for being six weeks along. I did not have morning sickness, only nauseous when around foods. I could not drink coffee because it made me sick even more. I could not concentrate at work with all the things on my mind. I am now somewhere where I found peace. I spoke to the nurse who translated for me. She was understanding. I could afford to pay for the procedure, and as for the deadbeat father who said he would pay, he did not and didn't take me to the clinic either. I no longer cared, as I had nothing else to do with him. I was done for good.
After going through my thoughts waiting with an IV in my arm, the doctor came in and gave me a sedative. I did not want to be awake at all during the procedure. I wanted complete sedation. I went to sleep, then I woke up feeling fine one minute and then the pain started. I was in so much pain. I asked the doctor if I could have something to stop it. She told me I had to wait until rest of my IV was done. The pain was similar to my worst menstrual cramps. I was irritable to the point where I received some green tea and pain medication. Along with the pain medicine, I received some chocolate covered Belgian waffles. They were great and addictive. I ate those and took a cab back to my room where I recovered.
I did not want to talk about it for a few days. After, my friend brought me some fast food and asked if I needed anything else. I was OK, I just wanted to be alone. Then randomly, I began to cry. I did not understand why, as I did not regret my decision. I cried for a few minutes, and I read the bible. I know that I am forgiven by God's grace. I know that he sacrificed his only son for all of mankind that have sinned. I said if I had it to do over again, I would have not had sex at all with this person. I was angry over the situation that led to my pregnancy, for I used protection and yet it failed me. I found peace with myself that night.