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My abortion was 10 months ago. I am 23, and I always considered myself as someone who did things the "right" way. I had graduated college, got a full time job, had been accepted to graduate school, and had just moved in with my boyfriend. I noticed my period was a few weeks late, which typically didn't happen to me. I was on birth control, but I missed ONE day and double dosed. I started to feel heavy and different, and not in tune with my body. I took a test in the bathroom upstairs with my boyfriend. It was so surreal, I didn't think it was possible. My life was going the way I thought it should at 23. When I saw "pregnant," I didn't stop crying for hours. I am pro-choice, I believe it is a women's right to chose what happens to her body, but also in that moment- you just never think it will happen to YOU. Honestly, I feel as though few days between finding out and the abortion were blacked out. I don't remember thinking anything, just being scared. I called Planned Parenthood right away and made an appointment. I was 7 weeks, so I have the medical abortion. They were nice at the office, but I felt like a zombie. I didn't fully comprehend at the moment what was happening, though I felt I was making the right choice. I took the first pill in the office, then I took the rest at home. It was horrible pain and I slept for the rest of the next day. When I woke up, I felt instant relief and just immersed myself back in life. Most likely too soon. I didn't tell my parents, only two friends besides my boyfriend. That is when the feelings came. I felt like such a fraud to everyone. It wasn't until about 4 months later the sadness came. Deep, dark, and endless sadness. I feel sad for my situation that led me to make my decision, I feel sad for not continuing what might have been a life because of wrong timing- I know I made the right choice- my boyfriend and I are still together, I am in graduate school and he is finishing his graduate degree. We both are still growing both financially and as adults, it wouldn't have been fair to bring a child into the world without the best of our resources. I felt it would have been selfish to bring a baby into the world for our wants, when we didn't have the means yet. That doesn't take away the sadness that I feel and know I will feel for my life, even when I do have kids one day. Recently, I've started counseling to help guide myself in the direction of healing, I have also started practicing yoga to heal myself. But, I've realized that no one can understand the situation but you. This is why I have felt so alone. I feel bad for feeling sad about it sometimes because it is something I did, but I did it for myself. I know one day I will fully forgive myself and fully accept that having the abortion was the right choice in that point in my life and will help make me even stronger. It has helped me more than anyone knows to read these stories and know I am not alone in how I feel.