I hope this doesn't get long.
Background: I'm bipolar, and I had twins last year (they'll be one in two weeks)... with a man I didn't necessarily love. He was nice to me, but I didn't love him.
June 1st I took a pregnancy test. I was four weeks. I cried, shook, hyperventilated. I confided in one friend before I told the father. I woke him up and told him that I would never sleep with him again, and I was pregnant.
I have always been pro-choice, and he's pro-life. We had a HUGE fight over making this decision. I had already made my mind up as soon as I knew I was pregnant. I wasn't keeping this baby.
I told my parents and they were super supportive. They even gave me the money for the abortion. They also knew this was the right decision. I went to the doctor. He sent me for an ultrasound. I looked at the dot on the screen, thinking "this is my baby," but I was already emotionally unattached to it. I made the appointment at seven weeks pregnant.
Yesterday, at eight weeks, I aborted the baby. I once again looked at the ultrasound. again. I was not attached to it. It was only a part of me and a man I didn't love. I went through with it.
The people were so nice. After a shot of Lidocane, I was feeling like throwing up. The support person took my hand and helped me breathe through it. Before I knew it, it was over. I didn't cry, and I didn't regret it. I knew it was right. I walked out of there when my mom came back to get me, cramping, but not bad at all.
I got home, and my baby girl met me at the door. I picked her up, and she hugged me. I knew if I had any doubts that the abortion was the right choice. My baby girl and baby boy need their mom. Being a single mom of twins is all I can handle. I know my limits, and now I know how strong I can be.
I had an IUD put in at the same time. I will also be using other forms of birth control. Two pregnancies on the pill... not doing it again.
I love that women have this choice. Women: you are strong. You know what you can handle and what you can't. Listen to yourself. I know abortions aren't for everyone, but there's a quote I heard that kept going through my head: "sometimes the wrong choice is also the right choice." I know God still loves me, my family is great support, and my friends... I love them dearly. Know you can make your own decisions and never give up that right!