I've always been pro-choice, but I never believed that I would personally need to make the decision to have an abortion. I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis at age 13, and my right ovary is literally covered in cysts. I've been on birth control pills since I was 14. I was told repeatedly by several doctors that when I wanted to have a child, it would probably involve a lot of drugs and procedures.
I've been pregnant three times. Guess Not.
The first time that I got pregnant, I had a miscarriage. As I was only 18 I was totally fine with this, as cold as that may sound. The second time, I had an abortion. I had been been dating a guy on and off for about a year. I had been using birth control religiously (to the point where I have a timer set on my cell phone), and didn't believe that it was possible. Our relationship was (and is) very troubled, but I wanted to keep the baby. However, he eventually convinced me to have the abortion. I knew that financially this was the responsible choice, as I work full time and go to college, and, frankly, he is a jobless loser.
The procedure itself was scary, but the nurses and doctors at the clinic were very supportive. I had very minimal bleeding and no complications. However, the abortion took a tole on me emotionally. I spent about two months as a nervous wreck, drank heavily, and cried myself to sleep nightly. Then I started reading stories of other women who had abortions. I was shocked at the stories of women who had abortions before they were legal, at all the pain and struggle they went through simply because they did not want a child at that time. I realized that yes, it is hard, but yes, you get over it. After all, if these brave women could go through this when it was so much harder, what really do I have to worry about in the long run?
As I type this, I've just learned that I'm pregnant again. Same guy, same crap. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones. As I prepare for this abortion, I worry that my streak of "impossible" pregnancies will end. However, as I prepare for grad school, I know that this is the right decision for my life right now.