I was 16 years old dating a 23 year old man. I got pregnant. He didn't know I was only 16. At first we were both excited... in fact, he even told me that if I decided to get an abortion that he thought it would really mess me up. When he found out I was only 16 his feelings changed. Understandably.
My mom found out I was pregnant and she was in denial. She made me take 2 birth controls pills every 12 hours for a few days. Then we took a test. I didn't want to get an abortion. But my mom said that if I kept the baby or even put it up for adoption, she would kick me out.
My baby's father hated me. My mother couldn't look me in the face.
On April 28 I went [to get an abortion]. I woke up that day like it was any other day, went and got breakfast. Showered. Dressed. My bestfriend showed up at my house and we were off.
There were protesters. I got into it with them. They were just making things harder than they already were. Those people had no idea what my situation was, and I was scared enough. I got inside and had to wait in line to fill out paperwork. Then I had to wait in a room after filling out paperwork. Then I got called back to a women who explained the procedure (called "twilight") and charged me for it. She then proceeded to tell me that I couldn't smoke a cigarette. Then I waited some more. I got called back to take a pregnancy test. Waited some more. Got called back for an ultrasound. I waited some more. I got called back for bloodwork. I waited some more. I got called back for what they called therapy or pre-abortion counseling. I waited.
My name was called and I went numb. I went up the stairs and there I met a woman who was nice and comforting. She lead me to the room where the procedure was going to take place and told me to undress and to put a pad in my underwear and lay them on the chair. I sat on a table naked plus a paper robe. I glanced over and noticed a picture of my ultrasound on a computer in the room. I began to hyperventilate. The woman came back into the room and she was followed by a man who was tall and dressed in black scrubs. He tied the thing on my arm to stick the I.V. in and took my pulse. I began to freak out worse. He and the woman told me that they couldn't sedate me until I calmed down. Eventually I did calm down and they sedated me... but I was awake the entire time. It was kinda like taking a valium. I was fully aware and felt everything that was happening. The woman held my hand the whole time. She kept her eyes on me and told me it was going to be OK.
It was the worst experience of my life, and yet I'm glad I didn't bring a child into the world. My life would have been over and that baby would have hated life whether I kept it myself or put it up for adoption. I wouldn't have been a good mother to it and it didn't even have a father that wanted any part... and if I put it up for adoption, it would have always wondered why didn't my real mother love me enough to keep me?