Speaker's Age: 20
Story Told In: 2006
39

I just turned 20 years old. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half now. We had been dating for maybe 4 months when I got pregnant. We met each other… we just got drunk and had sex. And then the next time I said, we’ve got to use a condom, but he doesn’t like using condoms. I would ask him, what happens if I get pregnant? He was like, oh I wouldn’t want to ruin your life, you can have an abortion. So it was kind of decided upon beforehand.

But I found out later that he had an operation on his testicle when he was a child, and he had been told all his life that he can never had children. So with all his past girlfriends, he just slept with them and never got them pregnant. But I guess he can conceive! I found this out later. I thought he was just being irresponsible.

I guess I missed my period, but it wasn’t that regular. I felt really sick and then a month later, I started feeling worse. I had to stop hanging out with people. I was sleeping all the time. One day I had a 103% fever and I had the flu. So I went to the doctor and that’s when they told me I was pregnant. When I first found out I was pregnant, I went home to my parents house; I couldn’t really deal with it. I told my mom and she was like, do you want to keep it? She just looked at me, and I said no. She said, oh good, you don’t want to ruin your life.

Planned Parenthood was kind of like a mill—and those girls… I was the only white girl in the room. There was another white girl there earlier but she was crying, so she didn’t pass the screening process. We were sitting around watching soap operas and the movie “Pretty Woman.” I remember when we woke up, this one woman was like “oh my god, they’re giving us crackers?! When my friend had an abortion, they gave her cookies!” She was such a bitch.

I had the abortion over winter break. Sometimes I look at babies and it makes me sad. My boyfriend and I both felt sad about it and agreed that if I ever got pregnant again, we would have it. We’re engaged. We’re going to get married when I graduate. He’s very traditional, but he agrees that I should go to college even though he’s a dropout.

I wasn’t going to have a kid…I actually had a miscarriage in 12th grade and I didn’t even know that I was pregnant. I couldn’t give a kid up for adoption. I’d just be thinking about where it was all the time.